How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can You Tell If You Are In A Toxic Relationship

How can you tell if you are in a toxic relationship?  Below are a few clues:

· Your partner puts you down (verbally) in front of others
· While your partner says they love you, their actions don’t back it up.
· Your partner is controlling – reading your mail or “turning up” at places where you are just to “check up”      on you.
· Your partner tries to help you be dependent on them.
· You've changed things about yourself to please them.

Toxic people make you feel ill just being close to them.  So, why would anyone land in a toxic relationship?  Why would anyone want to be with somebody that makes them feel emotionally or physically harmed?

A toxic relationship has a cycle.  There’s a honeymoon period, followed by a blow up, followed by a reconciliation – at which the cycle starts anew.

When you initially meet a new partner, you are obviously in the honeymoon stage.  It's not until they’ve sucked you in further that it becomes clear that you're in a toxic relationship.  At that point, it is not easy to get out.

One reason is the fact that many people in toxic relationships grow up in toxic homes.  As a result, they replicate the behaviours of their childhood without knowing they’re doing it.  And, they might not know any better.  Others believe they don't deserve happiness.  And others learn that they like looking after people.

However the first step to get out and staying away from toxic relationships would be to realize that you actually have choices.  Often people who stay in these couples have low self esteem or suffer from depression.

Once you realize that you have choices, the next step is to start standing up for yourself.  In most toxic relationships, the toxic partner has taught you that it's all your fault.  Once you buy into this,  it can be very hard to either walk away from your relationship or set new limits that will heal the relationship.

For a few people, working in therapy groups will help them either get out of or redefine these horrible relationships.

The good thing is that some individuals are able to break the cycles of toxic relationships.  A number of them leave the relationship and develop new, healthier bonds.

But others are actually able to repair their relationship and remain in it.

The truth is that most relationships are able to be salvaged.  Often it takes a little space.  Other times, it requires counseling.  However , if both partners make an attempt, it is possible to renew the bonds in a healthy way.

First thing you have to decide is that the relationship must improve or you’re prepared to walk away.  If you aren’t willing to walk away, you’ll not be able to heal that which divides you.

Once you've liberated your self from your dependency that is at the core of a toxic relationship, you can start to assert what you need from the connection.  Don’t nag your partner.  Simply say “I need your support,” “I need your love,” or “I need your truthful opinion.”

If you don’t get what you need, your partner should know that you’re prepared to walk.

A healthy relationship is a two way street.  In a toxic relationship, the street is only going one way.  You have the power to change that, but you must take the power into your own hands.