How To Win Back Lost Love

How To Win Back Lost Love

If you’ve had a break-up, you’re likely either figuring out how to get over the person, or how to win back lost love.  Neither of them is very easy, but most people fall to one or the other, with only very few able to move on quickly without pining or wishing things could be different.  You need to really think hard about your relationship and your ex before you do anything.  Think about how things were and how they'll be now.  Try to be as unbiased as you can.  You might decide that the break-up really isn’t a bad idea.

If you want to try to win back lost love, the first step is to apologize.  You might think you’ve done this.  You might have said you were sorry many times.  However , if your ex thought you were apologizing simply to stop a break-up, he or she might not think the apology was sincere.

If you were the one who did something you need to apologize for, apologize again.  Now they will think the apology is sincere, because nothing hinges on it. If your relationship is finished, you won’t be saying it only to save it but they'll believe that you truly mean it.  (And hopefully, you do.)

If your ex was the one who did something worth apologizing for, then rather than trying to get a sincere apology from him or her, forgive them.  You may never forget, particularly if your break-up was because of cheating, but you must learn to forgive.  Forgiving is much harder for some of us than merely saying, “I forgive you,” though, so you might want to read a book or two about forgiveness and how to really mean it.  If you want to win back lost love, this step will help you do it.  And it can help to prevent problems in the future, too.

If you manage to succeed and you win back lost love, 3 or 6 or 9 months into the newly patched relationship, old problems might come up.  If you haven’t forgiven your ex for whatever was done to break up the relationship, then you might have a tough time getting past everything.  Old wounds would be reopened and it’s likely that hurtful things would be said.

But if you can truly forgive the person, then there won’t be any need to rehash the past.  While you’re working on forgiving him or her for whatever happened that result in the break up, forgive them for the break up itself and you’ll avoid lots of grief down the road.

Also, to get back lost love, show the person the "you" they fell in love with, not the “you” that has been dumped.  They were with you because you have certain qualities—kindness, thoughtfulness—not because you’re angry, jealous or hurt.  While you might not be able to hide the hurt, concentrate on being the best "you" you can possibly be and you may win back lost love by reminding them why they loved you in the first place.