How do you get your ex back even after you’ve cheated? Many people claim that an affair will most likely end a relationship. However, I disagree. I believe that every relationship is savable if both sides really want to work on it. This article is about restoring trust in relationships.
Restoring trust in relationships calls for an adjustment in attitude as well as actions. Even after an affair, it is possible to save a relationship. But that begins with ramping up the degree of trust within the couple.
For those who have had an affair, you've had an attitude which allowed you to stray. There might be something at the relationship’s core that is diseased. But you can heal the disease.
What was it that you were hoping to find when you strayed? Was the sex humdrum? Was she too busy for you? Was she not spending enough time on her grooming?
You wouldn’t have had an affair if the primary relationship was perfect. So, what has to be done to fix it? Often that lies in self analysis. And often, that lies in the couple’s relationship.
Restoring trust in relationships means solving the underlying problems. Usually that means going into couples counseling.
But just understanding our thoughts is not enough. The next step is to take concrete action in fixing the problems.
The key to restoring trust in relationships lies not in discussing about the right things, but in doing the right things.
One of the biggest actions you can take is to make small promises and commit to them. If you promise to take the trash out every evening, do it. And, do it consistently. If you are able to prove that you can be trusted in the small things, a gradual sense of confidence is going to be realized in the larger picture of the relationship.
Your girlfriend or wife is going to need constant reassurance that you have changed. Which means that you will need to apologize more than once over time. You'll also need to treat the recurring feedback regarding the violation of trust as a matter of course. It's not easy for her to forgive the breach. If you want to stay with her, you must be patient with her.
This does not mean that you must feel guilty about the indiscretion forever. In fact, if you allow your ex to constantly guilt trip you, she will not be satisfied from the new relationship you are building. Just be understanding.
Finally, you should put a positive spin on the incident. Treat it as being an opportunity for both of you to develop as individuals as well as for the relationship to mature. Just as a bone will grow stronger at the place it has been broken, a relationship can improve after an affair.
Restoring trust in a relationship takes time. It requires that you change both your attitudes and actions. But it is possible to heal the divide and result in a a stronger couple.
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