Sunday 16 October 2011

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

7 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship

Do you know the 7 solid ways to build trust in a relationship?  Frequently, what exactly really makes a relationship that work are not the things we think of first.  For instance, do you think you constantly need to spice things up?  Wrong!  Predictability is much more important than variety in any relationship.  The following seven methods guaranteed to grow your connection by improving the level of trust in a relationship.

Firstly, as I mentioned in the opening paragraph, you need to be predictable.  This goes against the more common notion that you need to “stir things up” to keep the romance alive.  Sure, going to a new restaurant or giving a surprise gift can be nice, but usually, we need things to stay consistent and steady in order to make our relationships work.  Consider that trust in a relationship is made on being reliable day in and day out.

Next, you have to make sure that your words always match the message.  Which means that your partner needs to hear the words which match your body language.  When you say you are happy but you are frowning, your lover doesn’t hear your words, he / she sees your face and also the tone in your voice. Your partner has to be able to trust what you are saying.  When the words match the message, you build trust in a relationship.

Thirdly, you have to have a fundamental belief in your partner’s competency.  If you don’t you won’t develop the trust in a relationship that you need.  When lovingly communicated, the truth is never destructive.  When you do not believe that your partner is competent at several things (or indeed, anything), you violate the trust in a relationship.

Don't keep secrets.  Secrets destroy the trust in a relationship.  Be honest and be open.  Assume everything that you know will eventually come out.  Secrets need enormous energy on your part.  That's energy that could be going into building the relationship.

Fifth, don’t be afraid or worried to let your partner understand what your needs are.  Don’ t get him or her to guess what you need.  Let them know.  It is okay for being self-centered as long as you are not selfish.  Indeed, if you're reluctant to assert your needs, you may go overboard in the opposite direction and smother your partner.

Sixth, learn how to say no.  Whenever your partner voices his / her needs, that is a positive thing.  But you don’t need to say yes to everything.  A partner cannot respect you if you never say no.  Refusing to become subjugated towards the other person’s will in fact builds trust in a relationship.

Lastly, always pursue growth.  When you plant a flower, you start by digging in the dirt.  Digging in the dirt of your relationships can sometimes cause pain.  But, through that pain, we prepare the soil for future growth.  Don’t be afraid of turmoil, crisis, or questions.  Most of these become the fertilizer for growth and change.  Embrace what's difficult.

When you choose to work on trust in a relationship, you're bound to encounter a little pain.  But, as you're working through this pain, you won't just get stronger being an individual, you will also strengthen your coupledom.

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