Sunday 16 October 2011

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Discover How Get Your Ex Back in 4 Easy Steps

Most people in their life has had a breakup.  A breakup is a strange thing.  Most things in your life, the more you do them, the easier it becomes to do.  With breakups no matter how many you've had to go through in the past, they actually don't become easier to go through.

After having a breakup, unless of course the relationship was completely terrible, many people desire to get their ex back.  In fact, sometimes, even if the relationship was unhealthy, they still desire to get their ex back.  You really shouldn't try to win back your ex should they ever used physical violence or words to hurt you.  That's not a healthy relationship.  If you were in a relationship like that and your ex broke up with you, then consider yourself lucky.

Otherwise, most relationships stick to a pretty predictable pattern.  When you initially meet someone everything is fantastic and new.  He or she can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes.  After a while comfort sets in.  You adapt to each other.  When the newness is gone and the comfort is there things in the relationship change.  The little quirks you were willing to overlook before actually bother you now.

There is an expression: “Familiarity breeds contempt.”  Truer words couldn't be spoken for relationships.  After a couple get comfortable and familiar with one another, trouble usually starts.  This is exactly what tests the strength of your relationship.  It takes effort and work to maintain a relationship.  At times, when things break, instead of getting repaired, the other person wants out of the relationship completely

Do you believe, despite it being over, your relationship will be worth salvaging, even if your partner made it clear, it's over?  You'll need some answers on how get your ex back.  Listed below are four steps you can take.

1.Say

Saying you are sorry is one of the best how get your ex back techniques.  Even when it doesn't help you win your ex back, it's usually the best first step.  Ensure that you say sorry for the right reasons.  After having a breakup it can be easy to blame yourself for everything.  Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship.  Knowing what exactly to apologize for is important.

Whatever you decide to do, when you apologize don't allow your ex bait you into an argument.  The biggest irony of saying sorry to an ex is that it can easily lead to another fight.  If you say you're sorry, and your ex brings something else up, avoid getting defensive.  Stay calm, keep your emotions, your ego, and your pride in check.

2.Sit down and talk things out

Should your ex be up to it, set a time where both of you can sit down and talk.  Whatever you don't beg, plead, cry, or force your ex into this.  If they don't want to, then just proceed to the next step.  If they do agree, you're going to keep your emotions in check.  This isn't the time to get into a fight again.  Make it clear to your ex that you have no desire to bring blame into the discussion.

You need to talk about the issues objectively. If you talk strictly about the issues without assigning blame, you'll get better result.  It is best if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with this, if at all possible.

3.Give some space

This may seem counter-intuitive to how get your ex back.  You need to know that just because you want to talk to them or see them, doesn't mean they do.  It is crucial to give the partner some space. A short time away from each other, before you try to win them back, will give you both time to cool off and a chance for your partner to miss you.  If you're in touch with them all the time, they won't be able to miss you.

4.Show them you care about yourself

Prove to them that you care about yourself. If you look desperate, clingy, and whiny, you will not succeed.  If you sit around your house hoping that your ex will call you or keep checking your email every few minutes hoping to get their message, you are not doing yourself any favors.  Meet up with friends.  Go to movies, go to concerts, go to the mall.  Whatever, just get up and get out and live your life.

It's best if you're not there when your ex calls.  Then they'll be wondering what you're doing.  If you're out and your cell rings and its your ex, don't answer it.  Let the call go to voice mail. The best thing to do is delay until the next day to call them back.  Tell them you were busy, and you didn't have time to call them back.  This will probably shock them.  You may even be able to get them to pursue you again.

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